A few months back, I was fortunate enough to attend a three-day conference (for my full-time work) in beautiful La Jolla, California. FACES Conferences is a wonderful organization that focuses mainly on Mindfulness and Counseling as an art. But allow me to digress. Being a Midwestern boy originally from the suburbs of southwest Ohio (and still very much a Midwesterner – as if part of a so-called identity – living in Indiana) I gained a whole new appreciation for what I had always thought was the West. It is always interesting to experience diversity in a way that allows you to appreciate your own personal culture – a reference/grounding point. Granted, one trip to California certainly does not encompass the vast experiences that that part of our country has to offer, but I’d like to think I got a good taste of the frontier. At least now I can say I’ve gone past further than Iowa!

Anyway, one of the sessions at this conference included a talk by Frank Ostaseski on being a compassionate companion for those who are dying. He has created what he calls the Five Precepts (of being a compassionate companion) which helps one approach the sacred process of death simply by being fully present in the immediate moment. So as I studied this, I couldn’t help but think how to apply this to dog training and the human-dog emotional bond.

Let me qualify this by saying this is my interpretation based on my experiences with the dogs in my life, the relationships I have maintained, my faith, and my work as a counselor – all of which I believe at their very core are connected by the ever-moving energy of emotion. I should also state that the following template may not necessarily be reflective of the full Natural Dog Training model, but I’m curious how we as humans can bridge the gap between dog and human that is separated by thought. First read Frank’s work linked above. And lastly, I am aware that science might go ahead and poo-poo these ideas; that’s okay, I say go for it, but at least try to think outside the box. Here goes…

The First Precept: Welcome Everything. Push Away Nothing.
Pardon the pun, but let’s set the record straight: we are doing plenty of pushing in our training, insofar as the actual technique. But on a deeper level, if we are to believe that our canine companions are the agents who can facilitate a change in our hearts, might we learn to be nonjudgmental not just about our dog training, but also the many things and experiences in our lives? Simply put, as human beings we tend to live in our heads and forget the physical/emotional aspect of consciousness. We place moral value on thoughts and cognition – not that I’m saying we shouldn’t because these can be a positive guardrail for how we make decisions that can affect us. Nonetheless, we judge ourselves as good or bad because we feel a certain way or because we experience an emotion. We get caught up into the shoulda-coulda-woulda-what-if of life. We don’t attend to the fact that a thought (or even emotion for that matter) is nothing more or less than what it actually is: a thought. And even beyond that, it IS energy.

We push away things in our lives because of fear, anxiety, pain, etc. But to embrace what is real (eg, thoughts, emotions, sensations) means to welcome them just as they are in the present moment without judgment. In the training experience (not that I’m an expert) I suppose any number of thought might enter as a response to 1) how we feel about the training and/or 2) any emotion or experience from the past or present that is lingering or unresolved. If we were to allow the training experience to unfold naturally without forcing the process, I think we enable ourselves to feel (rather than to see or think) the connection with our dogs. As Mr. Ostaseski might say, “this is a journey of continuous discovery…always entering new territory.” From a NDT perspective nature is organized, and to add to it, I think emotional flexibility on our part allows for the free-flowing experience we are seeking. So, don’t push away your thoughts, allow them to run their course like clouds above: then maybe we can appreciate the sky that is our constant emotional energy.

The Second Precept: Bring Your Whole Self to the Experience.
I think in a way, NDT asks us to bring our whole self to the training experience. The leading edge of the self is the heart. If your heart isn’t in the training, then you aren’t bringing your whole self to the experience – that is not to say we should judge ourselves but rather have it be something to be aware of. I believe a desire to heal emotionally is a choice for us make. As for our dogs, there is no choice nor can they make one. They are waiting for us to make that move because in the moment they are ready for us. If healing isn’t the term that resonates with you then ask yourself, “what am I trying to get out of the relationship with my dog”. To bring your whole self to the training experience might mean inviting yourself, and therefore your dog as the mirror, to both see and feel what is real about you.

The Third Precept: Don’t Wait.
I don’t know about you, but patience is something I have had to embrace on the journey my dogs and I have taken with NDT. Patience is a natural process and I’m wiser for it. Waiting, however, is different. Waiting is something I’d warn against. What do I mean? Well, it is as simple asking this: what are you waiting for? And that is a question only you can answer for yourself. There’s never a wrong time to train, aside from any physical limitations. In my opinion, NDT almost forces you to jump in with both feet. I don’t know how else to explain it other than how it feels, and that feeling is characterized by being in the present moment. Just as when we take a moment (or many) when our beloved companions die, we might also learn to appreciate the moments when we train and when we don’t train. Waiting affords us missed opportunities. So as Kevin always says, “keep on pushing!”

The Fourth Precept: Find a Place of Rest in the Middle of Things.
Thank God for Niel Sattin’s DVDs! I really appreciate the emphasis put on soothing massage for your dog in the midst of training. Given the dynamics of NDT techniques, you really want your dog to develop a steady-state of awareness and drive. This process doesn’t seem to always come quickly for some dogs and that’s where I think taking a moment to pause and massage at intervals during a training session allows for you and your dog to find a place of rest in the midst of things. I think these are the times where we can smooth out the emotion between us and our dogs. Rest allows for grounding and emotional/physical focus.

The Fifth Precept: Cultivate Don’t-Know Mind.
This assumes the mind of a human. We could get into a long philosophical/scientific discussion about psychology and the theory of mind but we’ll save that for a later date.  Here we focus from a human perspective “a mind that’s open and receptive” to the training experience. Simultaneously, we approach our dogs with an open and receptive heart and a physical body willing to absorb the energy of training. When we approach training with an overload of thoughts and anticipation we distance ourselves from truly allowing the dog to inform us energetically. By listening and feeling with the heart and seeing the experience with our center of gravity, we focus less on a mind that is full of thoughts and expectations. Every day that I train, I approach it with an attitude that anything can happen, which I believe makes it easy to learn through feel. And this is important because we are all students and will always be students and to have a beginner’s mind keeps the door open for our dogs and ourselves.

Thoughts? Comments?

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References

Ostaseski, F. (no date). Five Precepts. Retrieved from http://www2.hawaii.edu/~davink/FivePrecepts.pdf.